For most of my childhood, fear kept me paralyzed. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at 8 years old and felt terrified every single day that my life wouldn’t be more than agony and emergency rooms. The adults around me were constantly putting their fears upon me. I became afraid of everything. Food, leaving the house, physically exerting myself, germs, death … the future. Gradually, I taught myself how to face these fears. One of the biggest fears I faced was giving up everything I had worked so hard for to search for something more fulfilling.
A few years ago, I found myself stuck in a life I hated. I felt trapped in a job I dreaded going to every day. I felt unfulfilled and disconnected in my relationships. I felt that I was wasting my life after struggling so hard to have one. I had begun to plan a two week solo vacation. Travel is a huge passion of mine and looking forward to this trip made me feel a little better but knowing I would immediately come back to this life I was so eager to leave was like a giant rain cloud hanging over me.
After an intense sensory deprivation float tank experience, I decided to leave my entire life behind and travel solo in Ecuador for three months. I was anxious but so excited!! I didn’t just up and leave. First, I saved money and paid for things little by little. Over that period of time, so many people tried to discourage me from going on this trip. They told me I was crazy. They told me I was being irresponsible. But many of those people also hated their lives. They also dreaded going to work every morning. They also didn’t feel fulfilled in their relationships. Instead of doing something to change their lives, they just accepted that what they have now is the best they can hope for.
As the trip got closer, I started to get scared. Then before I knew it, I was really scared. I thought a lot about whether I was making the biggest mistake of my life or the biggest act of self-care. I’m so fortunate to have had a very supportive friend being an encouraging voice amongst the constant negativity. I think a lot about how grateful I am that I didn’t listen to the people putting their own fears and insecurities on me. So much of my adventure was difficult but going on that trip was the best decision I have ever made for myself!
I faced many fears on this trip. Among them were the fears of non-conformity, financial instability, loneliness, uncertainty, illness and loss. I learned so many things about myself and what I want in my life. The most important thing I learned was that I have the strength in me to thrive in any situation. No matter what happens. No matter who is standing by my side. I will find a way through the darkness by being my own light.
Don’t let people who are afraid to live their own lives tell you how to live yours!
Are you ready to face your fears? You don’t have to face them alone. I’m here to be your enthusiastic cheerleader! A life coach can be an amazing source of encouragement and light in the darkness. Schedule your complimentary consultation and start moving forward in your life today!