This experience has negatively impacted every aspect of my life. My physical and mental health have suffered. I felt (and still feel) traumatized and furious that this happened to me.
I was diagnosed with severe Crohn’s at eight years old. Getting through each day was such a struggle but over time I learned how to better prepare myself for being out in the world. I had to plan ahead for any possibility every time I left the house. Eventually that turned into carrying a giant purse with literally everything but the bathroom sink. Here is a list of the basics I made sure to never leave home without.
Dr. van der Kolk stated, “The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe.” When I started trying to take better care of myself, I decided to get a massage. The first time, and several after to be honest, were not very pleasant or relaxing. I would often still feel just as tense or even more so when it was over. The masseuse would keep saying, “You can relax now,” and I would be so confused because I thought I was relaxed.
When someone tells you, “You’re just lucky,” and dismisses all your hard work and dedication.
You never know when it’s going to be the last time…
Being diagnosed with Crohn’s as a child made life very difficult. Feeling like I had no one to talk to made that struggle so much harder than it needed to be.