I was diagnosed with severe Crohn’s at eight years old. Getting through each day was such a struggle but over time I learned how to better prepare myself for being out in the world. I had to plan ahead for any possibility every time I left the house. Eventually that turned into carrying a giant purse with literally everything but the bathroom sink. Here is a list of the basics I made sure to never leave home without.
It was an incredibly lonely time in a life full of loneliness but it’s also when things really started to turn around for me.
Dr. van der Kolk stated, “The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe.” When I started trying to take better care of myself, I decided to get a massage. The first time, and several after to be honest, were not very pleasant or relaxing. I would often still feel just as tense or even more so when it was over. The masseuse would keep saying, “You can relax now,” and I would be so confused because I thought I was relaxed.
A lot of assumptions are hurled at only children. People just assume you’re a spoiled brat who has been handed everything you could ever want in life. They just assume things were calm and peaceful in your household because it was just you and your parents must have been so attentive to your every whim. They assume you’re socially awkward and don’t know how to make friends or interact with people. They assume you’re still spoiled as an adult and have always had a great support system. That was not my experience whatsoever.
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. is an exploration of the physiology and psychology of women’s sexual wellbeing.
Today, I’m so grateful for my disease and the constant struggles it has brought into my life. I’m stronger than Crohn’s disease and it took going through hell for me to realize that for myself. Now I use what I have learned through the many hardships and tough lessons I’ve experienced throughout my life to help others find a way out of the darkness.
When someone tells you, “You’re just lucky,” and dismisses all your hard work and dedication.
Don’t let pain keep you from the life you want.
Book Review: The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity
Being diagnosed with Crohn’s as a child made life very difficult. Feeling like I had no one to talk to made that struggle so much harder than it needed to be.